What is idolizing?
For me, idolizing is overvaluing another person. It is trusting the idol and thinking that anything they say it is true, anything they do is right. This trust and appreciation often blinds you; you see the idol as a pure light, leading and controlling your mind. This is what I think of "Idolizing". Well, Cambridge Dictionary interprets this verb much shortly: "to admire and respect someone very much, often too much."
So, we can see that it does not sound very nicely, but why is it so? Why would you ever consider "respect someone too much" as something bad? Firstly, let's think about why we idolize someone.
What are the reasons of idolizing others?
"According to Dr. Timothy Legg, the admiration of public figures is normal and a part of human development." As we can see, "idolizing" comes from our nature of behavior. I understand this as "growing up, we always has a figure that we are looking up to, and it is our parents". (At first, I thought that the lead parent would be a mom, but in fact, some kids can follow their dad more). When a person comes to this world, they do not know anything about this place, that is full of dangerous stuff. We can say that it is just a survival instinct for them to follow, "idolize" their parents.
When we are growing up, we, while being teenagers, start separating from our family little by little. We start finding ourself, developing, and we are unconsciously seeking for a person, who might become our first "idol". Okay, Idolizing people seems to be essential, but I am wondering, why do not we choose the same idol that, for example, our friend has? Or why do not we choose our sisters or brothers?
Why do people idolize certain types of people and not any other?
As I read in some articles and forums, we tend to idolize someone with whom we have certain connections to. Firstly, we expose the idol. We find some traits that make us interested in the person. For example, this person might have black hair, as a follower always wanted to have; that person has a soothing voice that always calms the follower down. So, followers find certain hooks. Secondly, we start to resonate with this person. We want to know more about their life: we buy products that the person might produce; we listen to their opinions about different topics. Our brain more often starts to think about this person, and the funny function of our brain is "when we think about something too much, our brain defines it as an important information." In other words, we bring a special value to the things we are constantly thinking about."
Why do I think we should stop idolizing people?
And that is why we should stop idolizing people, because "idolizing can be to the level of worshiping, centering yourself around someone excessively, or putting them to a level of higher special status." You will feel obsessed with the person that probably does not know who you are. You will want to be like your idol, you will want to be them. You will lose your core and everything that defines you. It can be very harmful for you, you will believe every word your idol says, not figuring it out, even if it is a huge disinformation. Your brain does not care anymore, you just anxiously want to be like your idol.
This is also can be frustrating for idols. Nobody is perfect, everyone has bad and good days. Sometimes people can say things they do not mean because they may be emotional that time. Although, those followers do not care. They have already been brainwashed by the illusions that their idol is "the greatest person in the world, who always does right things at the right time and plus to it, does everything perfectly." So, if their idol messes up, they get disappointed, which can tremendously harm the idol, and even hurt their physical and mental health.
How to transfer "idolizing" into "admiring"?
If you already have an idol, I would really recommend you to analyze the idol and distinguish the traits that you love about them. Maybe it's their lifestyle? Or you like their fit body? Or maybe you admire their braveness? It can be anything; just take your journal and try to systematize the information. Then write down under each of the items you highlighted the reasons why you still don't have it in your life. This way it will be much easier for you to realize why you have started idolizing the person in the first place. If you do this, you will have a clear image of what you truly want and what is stopping you from having it. Remember, don't beat yourself up for something you can't achieve. Patience and hard work will resolve everything!